No Controles

do you like rabbits?‎ cause if you do I’ll shoot the ones in my yard and you can have them for dinner

I consider myself your taster…kind of like how henry IIX and queen elizabeth had tasters to make sure their food wasn’t poisoned. i’m your person who makes sure things aren’t too peppery, lemony, squishy, chewy, crunchy, salty, sacceriney, pea-y, slimy, greasy, spicy, stringy…

I can’t look at the word Jesus now and not read Haysus! Thanks for that!

No, I don’t want to take a trip to Italy. I don’t want to pee in a hole and you have to pay for toilet paper. What’s that about?

i would take ya, but we not cool like that.

You’re not going to eat the guacamole? Give it here little Hooker.

I’d look into T-MAGS but some douche might confuse it for T-BAGS and try to run me off the road so he can get my number…

Ps my kitchen looks like a raging alcoholic lives here with all these saved wine bottles…

Facebook needs a “you creep me out” button.